The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr matey! Lady Tammy be settin' sail from the Senate race to make way for ol' Bob Menendez's plunderin'!

2024-03-24

Arrr, mateys! Tammy Murphy be throwin' in the towel on her quest for the Senate. Her crew be cryin' foul, sayin' it be favorin' her blood ties to Governor Phil Murphy. Aye, political waters be treacherous indeed!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, Tammy Murphy, the wife of New Jersey governor Phil Murphy, be known to all the landlubbers that she be droppin' her bid for U.S. Senate on the Sabbath day. The critics be claimin' her campaign had a stench of nepotism about it, me hearties.The first lady o' the Garden State had her sights set on winnin' the Democratic primary for the upcoming U.S. Senate election, what with Sen. Bob Menendez's federal corruption charges makin' the waters choppy. But Menendez showed no interest in runnin' as a Democrat and flirted with the idea of sailin' solo as an independent.Murphy's main rival in the race be Rep. Andy Kim, D-N.J., a scallywag who's been in office since 2019. In a video she posted on the matey-net, she spoke of the "enormous challenges" facin' New Jersey."After many moons of toil and trouble, I be pullin' anchor on me Senate campaign today," declared Murphy, with a touch of sadness in her voice.Her reasons for abandonin' ship included a desire to avoid a bitter and savage campaign. She be not willin' to spend her treasure tearin' down a fellow Democrat when there be greater dangers on the horizon, like the dread pirate Trump.Fear not, me hearties, for Murphy be now settin' her sights on helpin' reelect President Biden and securin' victories for the Democrats across the land. She be callin' for unity in the face of the threat from Trump and his band of far-right marauders.The critics be takin' aim at Murphy for runnin' a campaign that seemed tainted by nepotism, given her husband's position as governor. Soon after she raised her flag for the Senate, four New Jersey congressmen came aboard to endorse her. Arr, the political waters be treacherous indeed!

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