The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Julian Assange's fate be decided by the High Court, may the winds of justice blow in his favor!

2024-03-26

Arrr, me hearties! The U.K. High Court be settin' sail to decide if Julian Assange will walk the plank to the land of the free. Will he be swashbucklin' his way to the U.S. or will he be keepin' his treasure safe in Britannia? Tune in on Tuesday to find out, ye scallywags!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties! Judges in Britain be settin' sail Tuesday on whether the scurvy dog, Julian Assange, will be extradited to the U.S. or if he be allowed to appeal his extradition. Two senior judges on the British High Court be weighin' Assange's fate on Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. GMT. A full appeal hearing could come if the High Court rules in Assange's favor on Tuesday, but if he loses this appeal, his remaining options would be as scarce as a mermaid's tears."This be it. DECISION TOMORROW," cried out Assange's wife Stella, as the winds of fate be blowin' their course. Assange, a salty dog of 52 years, be facin' espionage charges for publishin' classified U.S. military documents 14 years ago. If he be sent to Davy Jones' locker in an American maximum-security prison, he could be in irons for up to 175 years for his deeds.But fear not, me hearties! Should the court disallow a full appeal, Assange could still make a last request to the European Court of Human Rights. His supporters be worried, though. If the tide turns against him on Tuesday, his extradition be all but certain, and he'll be walkin' the plank to a trial in Alexandria, Virginia, where he'll be judged for his crimes by the landlubbers of the court.So batten down the hatches and keep a weather eye on the horizon, for the fate of Julian Assange be hangin' in the balance like a sword over the head of a mutinous crew. May Neptune guide him through these treacherous waters, and may justice prevail in the end, be it fair or foul.

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