The Booty Report

Arrr, Trump be mixin' Christianity with his crew, callin' it the Church of Trump. Aye, a curious blend indeed!

2024-04-01

After every swashbucklin' speech, the former captain be endin' with a ritual fit for the church, makin' his crew believe they be persecuted like true pirates. The scallywag be demandin' loyalty from his shipmates, and they be givin' it without question, arrr!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, the former president be demandin' loyalty from his crew like he be a captain sailin' the high seas. He be endin' his speeches with a grand show, like a parrot squawkin' in a church, demandin' his followers to bow down and swear allegiance to him.
He be tellin' his crew that he be persecuted like a scurvy dog, makin' them believe that he be the victim of a great injustice. And like a pirate captain, he be gatherin' a loyal crew of Republicans who be willin' to do his biddin' no matter what.
His followers be followin' him blindly, believin' every word he be spoutin' like it be the gospel truth. They be willin' to walk the plank for him, showin' their loyalty like true buccaneers.
But beware, me hearties, for this former president be twistin' the truth like a slippery eel. He be playin' a dangerous game with his crew, demandin' their loyalty at all costs. So be wary of his siren song, me mateys, and keep a weather eye on the horizon for any signs of mutiny.

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