The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! In Finland, scallywag shoots up school, many landlubbers be injured. Suspect be caught like a bilge rat!

2024-04-02

Arrr, a sneaky scallywag from the land of Finland, a mere stripling of 12 years, was clapped in irons on a Tuesday morn for firing upon wee bairns at a school. The constables say the young rapscallion be causing a ruckus!

In the language of a 17th century pirate, there be trouble brewin' in Finland! A scallywag of a suspect, a mere 12-year-old lad, was arrested after a shootin' at a primary school left three youngins wounded. Arr, the police quickly responded to the scene at Viertola Primary School in the city of Vantaa at the crack of dawn. Residents were told to steer clear of the area, as the situation be dire.The victims were swiftly taken to a hospital for treatment, and the school's principal assured that the danger had passed. Emergency services, along with armed police officers, swarmed the scene like a pack of hungry sharks.Interior Minister Mari Rantanen lamented the grim start to the day, but was relieved to report that the scallywag suspected of the deed was captured. Finland, known for its strict gun laws, had tightened regulations in 2010 to prevent such tragedies.Shiver me timbers, it be a harrowing tale indeed. Let us pray for the young souls caught in the crossfire, and hope for a swift resolution to this tragic event. Arr!

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