The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, them scurvy dogs be sayin' World Central Kitchen workers be sent to Davy Jones' locker by Israeli Spike missiles!

2024-04-04

Arrr mateys! Seven scallywags from afar met their doom in Gaza, mayhaps by a deadly Spike missile, as a British sea dog claims. 'Tis a sad tale of woe on the high seas, where the winds of war blow fierce and deadly. Aye, beware the Spike!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, in a humorous tone, the missiles that took out a few good aid workers from the World Central Kitchen convoy, including an American, in the Gaza Strip were likely those "absolutely perfectly accurate" Spike missiles, according to the scuttlebutt from British media.Chris Lincoln-Jones, a former swashbuckling British army procurement officer, spilled the beans to The Times of London that three Spike missiles were likely fired rapidly, hitting the convoy vehicles dead center on Monday.Lincoln-Jones, who once sailed with the Israel Defense Forces, told the paper, "If you aim at the driver’s side, you will hit the driver full-on. If you were across the street from the car, you’d be shaken up, but you might survive."The IDF’s Black Snake squadron, aboard a Hermes 450 drone, was on the hunt for a "clean and highly targeted" strike when it tailgated the aid convoy in Gaza, the tale goes.Lincold-Jones, a salty veteran of five years studying IDF gear in Haifa and Tel Aviv, noted the Hermes 450 was a spitting image of the watchkeeper drone and was armed with Spike "fire-and-forget" missiles made by Rafael Advanced Defence Systems.The IDF is investigating the incident, while World Central Kitchen has suspended its operations in Gaza and seeks a third-party investigation into the attack.President Biden has expressed outrage over the deaths and called for an immediate ceasefire in the region.

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