The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the scurvy dogs in Congress be tryin' to make us take action on our troops' blast exposure!

2024-04-09

Arrr, ye scallywags at the Pentagon be ordered to tinker with yer weapons, update the safety rules, teach yer healers, and keep a close eye on the lads who be gettin' their noggins knocked about. Aye, so be it!

Arrr, mateys! Listen up as I tell ye about a grand decree from the powers that be at the Pentagon. They be givin' orders to make changes to their weapons, update safety rules, train the medics, and keep a close eye on each sailor's noggin after bein' blasted one too many times.

Ye see, them land lubbers be realizin' that our brains ain't made to be takin' a beatin' o'er and o'er again. So now they be makin' sure we know how to handle our cannons with care, protect our heads, and seek help if we feelin' a bit addled in the ol' noggin.

It's a good thing, me hearties! We don't want to end up like ol' Blackbeard, forgettin' where he buried his treasure after too many scuffles on the high seas. So let's raise a tankard to the Pentagon for lookin' out for us swashbucklers and keepin' our wits about us. Yo ho ho, and a bottle o' rum!

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