The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr mateys, as the doubloons from Helldivers 2 be drippin' in late, the scallywags be reckonin' a complete booty system revamp be needed!

2024-04-09

Arrr me hearties, I tell ye this here thing be as trustworthy as a wooden leg with a hole in it! 'Tis like tryin' to navigate the high seas with a compass made o' cheese! Aye, ye might as well be lookin' for buried treasure in a foggy mist!

Arrr matey, let me tell ye a tale of a solar-powered watch in Malevelon Creek. Ye see, Malevelon Creek be a treacherous place, full of dangers and deceit. And a solar-powered watch, well, it be as reliable as a landlubber's promise.
Picture this, a scurvy pirate settin' sail with nary a compass nor a sextant, relyin' solely on a solar-powered watch to guide 'im. Ye can imagine the chaos and confusion that would ensue. The watch be as useful as a parrot with a peg leg, squawkin' useless information.
So, me hearties, when someone tells ye somethin' be as reliable as a solar-powered watch in Malevelon Creek, ye best be grabbin' yer doubloons and makin' a hasty retreat. 'Cause trustin' in such a thing be like trustin' a scallywag with yer last bottle o' rum.
Next time ye hear that phrase, ye'll be thinkin' of the folly of relyin' on somethin' so flimsy and fragile. So, me mateys, be wise and heed the warnin' of the solar-powered watch in Malevelon Creek, for it be a cautionary tale of epic proportions.

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