The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ye scurvy dog! Rumor has it, the brave wench sacrificed herself to protect the wee babe from the knave in Sydney.

2024-04-13

Arrr, the first poor soul to fall victim to the scallywag stabber in Sydney be none other than Ash Good, a brave mother who met her end whilst defending her wee babe from the foul villain's blade. May she rest in peace and her spirit haunt the black-hearted knave forevermore.

Avast ye landlubbers! A poor mother, on her deathbed, bein' the first to walk the plank in the Sydney stabbing spree. The brave lass thrust her wee babe into the arms of two strangers, beggin' them to save the young 'un's life.The reports say that Ash Good, a lass of 38 winters, met her end from stab wounds at Westfield Bondi Junction. Her babe, Harriet, a mere 9 months in age, was also injured in the knifin' that took place at the mall.Six souls lost to the unprovoked attack, and eight more be fightin' for their lives, includin' the wee babe. But fear not, for a hero cop put a stop to the villain's rampage by sendin' him to Davy Jones' locker.The witnesses tell a tale of the mother's desperation, as she handed her babe to strangers before succumbin' to her wounds. The baby and the mother's injuries be described as dire, with much blood on the deck.May we raise a toast to Ash Good, a mother and athlete taken too soon. Her circle of friends and family be mournin' her loss, as she sails on to the next world. Farewell, brave soul, may ye find peace in the afterlife.

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