The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! NY Cardinal Dolan recounts the tale of seekin' refuge durin' Iran's cannonball assault on Israel. Arrr!

2024-04-14

Arrr, the Archbishop of New York, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, did recount in a missive on X on the Lord's Day how he was compelled to seek refuge in Bethlehem whilst Iran did lay siege upon Israel. Aye, a holy man caught in the midst of a swashbuckling conflict!

Arr matey! The U.S. Cardinal Timothy Dolan found himself in quite a pickle when he had to scurry for cover as Iran fired missiles at Israel while he was gallivanting in Bethlehem. The jolly old Archbishop of New York is in Israel for a week to celebrate the 75th anniversary of the Catholic Near East Welfare Association. He be the big cheese of the association, don’t ya know?Starting his escapade in Jerusalem, Dolan made his way to Bethlehem just in time for the missile fracas. But fear not, for the good Cardinal and his crew found refuge at the Notre Dame Center. The next day, he led mass at the Our Lady of Peace chapel and hobnobbed with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas in Ramallah.Despite the kerfuffle caused by Hamas, Dolan will continue his adventure in Israel and Palestinian territories, spreading goodwill and meeting with various leaders. His journey aims to promote dialogue and peace in a region fraught with tension and conflict.Meanwhile, the United States military foiled Iran’s dastardly drone and missile attack on Israel, marking a new chapter in the long-standing feud between the two nations. Pope Francis also chimed in, urging for a ceasefire to prevent further bloodshed and chaos in the Middle East. Ahoy, what a time to be sailing these treacherous waters!

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