The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Iran's feeble attempt at attackin' Israel be a real eye-opener for them scallywags in Tehran, says the DOD.

2024-04-15

Arr, ye scurvy dogs at the Pentagon be sayin' that Iran's pitiful attempt at attackin' Israel be a right laugh! Aye, 'twas quite a show of their lackluster weapons, methinks. Let's hope they stick to pillagin' their own waters from now on! Arrrr!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, Pentagon press secretary Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder be sayin' on Monday that Iran's failed attack on Israel o'er the weekend be "pretty telling" about Tehran's weapons capabilities. A reporter be askin' Ryder what lessons the U.S. learned from the attack and what they said about the capabilities of Iran and those of the U.S. Ryder be sayin' the U.S. had "learned a lot from this," but declined to go into specifics. "I’m sure you can appreciate I’m not going to be in a position to do an after-action report from the podium today, other than to say it’s pretty telling that Iran launched over 300 air threats, and, as I highlighted, 99% of those were knocked down," he said. "So, it is demonstrative of that close coordination and synchronization between the United States and coalition partners when it comes to addressing air defense threats in the region."Iran’s attack on Israel late Saturday involved hundreds of drones, ballistic missiles, and cruise missiles launched from Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen. It included 110 medium-range ballistic missiles, over 30 land attack cruise missiles, and more than 150 drones, per the Pentagon. Ryder be sayin' both land and sea aircraft were involved in the attack. Only seven ballistic missiles reached Israeli territory, causin' minor damage to an air base. Israeli and U.S. forces shot down the rest with help from the British and the French.The attack be widely expected as Iran had been warnin' for days of retaliation after an airstrike on its Syrian consulate earlier this month killed a dozen people, includin' a top commander of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC). The attack marked the first time Iran had launched a direct military assault on Israel, despite decades of hostilities, goin' back to the country’s 1979 Islamic Revolution. Tensions between the two countries be at all-time highs in recent months, followin' the Oct. 7 attack in which Hamas militants stormed into Israel, killin' 1,200 people and takin' hundreds of hostages. Ryder would not be sayin' whether Israel had informed Washington about potential plans for retaliation, though Israel’s War Cabinet met Monday to discuss the situation. Ryder be sayin' Iran had not given a heads-up about the attack, though Turkish, Jordanian, and Iraqi officials have disputed this. The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Read the Original Article