The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

The CDC be sniffin' out scallywags sellin' fake beauty juice. Yarrr, beware the cursed counterfeit 'Botox'! Arrr!

2024-04-16

Arr! Me hearties be talkin' bout some scallywags havin' blurry vision, double vision, and droopy eyelids from the dreaded botulism! Aye, tis a rough sea we sail on, with swallowin' and breathin' troubles to boot! Beware the curse o' the botulism, me mateys! Aaarrr!

Arrr mateys, listen up ye scallywags! Thar be a deadly disease lurkin' about known as botulism, causin' all sorts of trouble for them unfortunate souls who be gettin' infected. This cursed affliction be bringin' on symptoms like blurry vision, double vision, and eyelids as droopy as a sleepy parrot on a hot summer's day. Ye might find yerself strugglin' to swallow or take a breath, makin' it a right pain in the aft to even stay alive.
But fear not, me hearties! 'Tis not all doom and gloom in this vast ocean of illness. The good doctors and healers be workin' hard to treat and prevent this wretched botulism, keepin' us all safe from its grasp. So keep a weather eye out for any symptoms, and if ye find yerself feelin' off, seek help from a knowledgeable medic straightaway. And remember, a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, so keep a smile on yer face even in the face of danger!

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