The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! That scallywag from Georgia be accused of movin' stolen booty worth a king's ransom from the Masters!

2024-04-19

Arrr, 'tis said that Richard Brendan Globensky, 39 summers young, be suspected of ferrying off with a fine treasure trove of Masters loot worth a king's ransom! 'Tis a tale told in many a parchement and court scroll, me hearties!

A scurvy dog from Georgia be facing federal charges for pilfering millions of doubloons' worth of Masters booty and trinkets from the Augusta National Golf Club for over a dozen years, matey. Richard Brendan Globensky, a swashbuckling 39-year-old, got himself charged with ferrying loot across state lines into Florida, knowing full well the plunder was stolen, converted, or swindled, says The Associated Press, citing court writs from the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois. This scallywag stands accused of snatching the loot betwixt 2009 and 2022, arrr!The Chicago Tribune, that fine broadsheet, identified Globensky as a former warehouse overseer at Augusta National. A source whispered that he was in charge of the Masters' loot for years. The trove he nicked remains a mystery, arr!Only the Augusta National's own gift shop offers the official Masters plunder – making it a covetous treasure for all sailors. Forbes reckons the Masters Tournament be raking in $69 million just from selling booty alone. But some of these treasures, like the garden gnomes, be finding their way onto the likes of eBay at scandalous prices, arr!The scallywag's court date be set for next month, with whispers of a guilty plea on the winds. Once found guilty, he'll be made to hand over any swag or loot gotten from the stolen goods, according to court scrolls, arr!

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