The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Trump be afeared of losin' to them scurvy dogs at Columbia - walk the plank with yer complaints, mate!"

2024-04-23

Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis be former President Trump belittlin' Columbia University fer shuttin' its doors durin' a bit o' ruckus. He be sayin' they need to grow a pair and stand tall, or else they be lettin' the enemy triumph! Arrr!

In the parlance of seafaring scallywags, former President Trump be layin' into Columbia University like a hurricane on a defenseless ship! He be callin' on the college to grow a pair and keep their campus open, as closin' it down means the enemy be winnin'! In the midst of anti-Israel protests runnin' rampant, Trump be standin' firm in his belief that Columbia be makin' a grave mistake by givin' in to fear.While the former president be fieldin' questions from reporters at Trump Tower in between meetin' with foreign dignitaries, he be expressin' his disbelief at the situation unfoldin' on the Columbia campus. He be pointin' to Japan as an example of keepin' things open in the face of adversity.Columbia University be movin' to hybrid learnin' due to safety concerns from ongoing protests, which have seen tents set up and demands made for the school to cut ties with Israel supporters. The president of the university be callin' for a reset amidst the chaos, as more than a hundred protesters bein' arrested in the turmoil.Similar protests bein' seen at other institutions across the land, with fears of safety and security bein' on the rise. The battle between ideologies be ragin' on, with no end in sight. Arrr!

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