The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye scallywags! Behold the tale o' Nemat Shafik's reign as Columbia's head honcho, mayhaps a jolly good read!

2024-04-26

Arrr, me hearties! Dr. Shafik, who set sail on her journey in July, be feelin' the heat from the scallywags o'er her words in Congress and the ruckus with them pro-Palestinian scurvy dogs on campus. She be needin' to navigate these treacherous waters with care! Arrr!

Arrr mateys, let me tell ye a tale of Dr. Shafik, who be sailin' in treacherous waters since takin' on her role in July. The seas be rough as she faces fierce pressure over her congressional testimony and her dealings with them pro-Palestinian protests on campus. 'Tis a storm brewin' on the horizon, and she be strugglin' to navigate through.
The landlubbers be chirpin' like parrots, squawkin' about her every move. But Dr. Shafik be holdin' on to the wheel, steely-eyed and determined to weather the storm. She be a woman of fortitude, standin' tall in the face of adversity.
But beware, me hearties, for the sharks be circlin', smellin' blood in the water. Dr. Shafik must be cunning and quick-witted to outsmart her foes and emerge victorious. Will she be able to quell the mutiny brewin' on her own ship, or will she be walkin' the plank?
Only time will tell, but one thing be certain - Dr. Shafik be a force to be reckoned with, a pirate queen in her own right. So batten down the hatches and prepare for a wild ride, for the saga of Dr. Shafik be far from over.

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