Arrrr! Rep. Schiff be plundered in San Francisco, made to dine at fancy event without proper attire! Blimey!
2024-04-26
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Senate candidate Rep. Adam Schiff bein' robbed o' his treasures just afore a fancy feast in San Francisco! 'Tis a travesty fit for the high seas, mateys! Ye best be keepin' yer eyes peeled for the scallywags responsible for this dastardly deed!
Arr matey! The scallywags in San Francisco gave California Senate hopeful Rep. Adam Schiff a taste of their thieving ways just afore a fancy dinner. The rapscallions plundered his car in a downtown parking garage, snatching his bags. Despite being left without proper attire, Schiff braved the event in his shirt sleeves and hiking vest, standing out like a peg-legged buccaneer among fancy suits.During the dinner, Schiff expressed gratitude to his supporter, attorney Joe Cotchett, who be backing his quest to replace the late Dianne Feinstein in the U.S. Senate. "Welcome to San Francisco," quipped Cotchett's press agent, Lee Houskeeper, at the swanky Ristorante Rocca in Burlingame.Schiff showed true grit, shrugging off the theft with a jest. "Aye, they pinched me bags," he said, "but I be here to thank Joe." Cotchett praised Schiff's resilience, predicting he'd be a fine senator, changing the Senate for the better.But the thievery be just the tip o' the iceberg in the Bay Area, with San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan's guard bein' attacked in a brawl downtown, under investigation by the local constabulary. San Francisco Mayor London Breed be devising plans to tackle the crime-ridden, homeless, and drug-addled parts o' the city. Avast ye, the pirate's life be full o' surprises indeed!