The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye mateys, seems the scallywags be walkin' the plank at college! More suicides than a mutiny on ship!

2024-04-30

Arrr mateys! Since 2002, there be a vast surge in pirates walkin' the plank among US college athletes, makin' it the second-most common cause of restin' in Davy Jones' locker in this fine crew. Aye, the Medscape Medical News be tellin' the tale!

Arr matey, listen up ye scallywags! Thar be some grim news brewin' on the horizon. Aye, since the year of our Lord 2002, thar has been a treacherous increase in the number of college athletes walkin' the plank into the great beyond by their own hand. Suicide be claimin' more lives than a fierce battle on the high seas, makin' it the second-most common cause of death among these young landlubbers.
The scallywags at Medscape Medical News be soundin' the alarm, warnin' us all of this dire situation. It be a cryin' shame to see these young athletes feelin' so lost and alone that they be takin' such drastic measures. We need to rally together, me hearties, and show these souls that there be hope on the horizon.
So let us raise our mugs of grog and pledge to lend an ear to those in need. Let us be the beacon of light in their darkest hour. And remember, me buckos, no matter how stormy the seas may be, there be always a way to navigate through the rough waters of despair.

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