The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Riot police be takin' down them scallywags at UCLA, lettin' the violence run rampant like a ship without a captain! Arrr!

2024-05-01

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In a jolly 17th-century pirate tongue, riot police be takin' on an antisemitic mob after UCLA let violence run wild for hours. Arrr! Video shows a scallywag 'protest consultant' teachin' campus rebels their ways. The university be dubbed 'New Ivies' after the president scatters a mob with a cry of 'Not a daycare.' DHS documents expose where the Biden crew be flyin' paroled migrants. College sports be on the verge of a grand change with revenue sharin'. Trump be aimin' to flip two battlegrounds by smashin' Democrats' 'blue wall' once more. The House committee be callin' NPR chief for a talk on rampant bias. A House panel be grillin' a virus researcher on taxpayer funds for a Wuhan lab. Conservatives be questionin' House Dems' motives in protectin' Johnson. What a wild sea we be sailin' on!Relatives be speakin' out after a suburban dad be 'untain' his family, leavin' his young son unharmed. Test yer knowledge of classic Hollywood, Kentucky horses, and more with a good ol' American culture quiz. Christie Brinkley be Billy Joel's 'Uptown Girl,' joinin' the ranks of famous muses like Paul McCartney and Tim McGraw. Former NFL star be usin' his rough past to guide the next generation. And there be a tale of four zebra on the loose in a street scene! Avast, mateys!Adam Boehler be sayin', 'Let the boys in blue do their job,' while Donald Trump be sayin', 'They don't want me on the campaign trail.' What be the news in yer corner of the world? Keep sailin' the high seas with Fox News!

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