"Arrr, 'Saturday Night Live' be skewerin' them fancy college protests at Columbia with a dose of parent perspective!"
2024-05-05
Arrr, "Saturday Night Live" did jest at the scallywags protestin' at Columbia University, showin' the poor parents payin' their scurvy kids' tuition. 'Twas a right good laugh, watchin' the young scallywags causin' mischief and the parents pullin' out their hair in despair! Aye, a good time indeed!
"Saturday Night Live" took aim at the student anti-Israel protests on Saturday, specifically from the perspective of parents who have kids attending Columbia University during the cold open.Kenan Thompson played the father of a Columbia student and began by praising young people standing up for what they believe in during a mock interview. However, when asked about his daughter specifically, Thompson said she "better have her butt in class.""Let me find out she in one of those damn tents instead of the dorm room that I pay for," he said, before the interviewer questioned his initial statement about supporting the students."I am in support of y'alls' kids protesting — not my kids. My kids know better," Thompson said. Asked what he thought of the group of protesters that took over Hamilton Hall, an academic building on Columbia's campus, he said, "That's good for y'alls' kids, but they ain't mine."ANTI-ISRAEL MOB AT COLUMBIA REVEALS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WILL TARGET NEXT AFTER TAKING OVER ACADEMIC BUILDINGThompson said Columbia had the "nerve" to charge $68,000 per year in tuition."I’m out here busting my hump to pay all that tuition," Thompson said. "I do it all: Uber all day. Uber Eats all night. Cut grass on the weekends, sell Gucci wallets out of my truck... I bounty-hunt whenever possible. All of that just so she can say she got a degree in African-American studies. It’s like, little girl, you’ve been Black your whole life. You know what it is."Thompson revealed exactly what he planned to do when his daughter graduated, and insisted that the university would hold a graduation, even if he had to do it himself. Several universities have weighed canceling their graduation ceremonies as anti-Israel protests have taken over campuses."You can take that to the bank. This girl started her college during COVID," he said. "Had me out here paying $68,000 for tuition, and she is at my house taking classes on Zoom, learning about the applied history of the BET Awards. Man, if she don’t walk — Columbia is going to be on the news for something else!"RIOT POLICE AT UCLA CAMPUS CLOSE IN AFTER NIGHT OF VIOLENT ANTI-ISRAEL CLASHESPolice cleared Columbia's Hamilton Hall on Tuesday after protesters took it over on Monday.The encampment on campus was also cleared of agitators — only their tents remained when the raid was over.Students protesting the Israel-Hamas war have descended on college campuses over the past few weeks in an effort to get their universities to divest from companies linked to Israel.Fox News Digital's Elizabeth Pritchett contributed to this report.