Arrr, Pentagon scallywags be chattin' 'bout a landlubber detainee held in Russia's brig! Avast ye, what a tale!
2024-05-07
Arrr mateys, word be that the Pentagon be keepin' one o' our own behind bars in Russia! The scallywag soldier be stuck in a brig until his next reckonin'. Let's hope he can charm his way out o' this pickle!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties! Arrr, Pentagon officials be sayin' that a scurvy U.S. Army soldier be caught in Vladivostok, Russia, last Thursday. He be sittin' in a pretrial brig waitin' for his next court date, though the exact date o' that be a mystery.The Deputy Press Secrearty o' the Pentagon, Sabrina Singh, told the scallywags in the press that this here Staff Sgt. Gordon Black signed up for the Army back in 2008 as an infantryman. He was last seen swabbing the decks at Camp Humphreys in South Korea."On the 10th o' April, Black said his farewells to Eighth Army and set sail for Texas," Singh said. "But instead o' headin' back to the States, he hitched a ride to Vladivostok, Russia, for reasons known only to Davy Jones."The lad's mother, Melody Jones, be on the telly sayin' she thinks Black's lass be a scallywag who set him up. She warned him not to go to Russia, but he didn't listen, and now he be locked up for thievin' and brawlin'.Black served in Iraq and Afghanistan, but he didn't have the King's clearance for his travels. The State Department be warnin' all ye landlubbers to steer clear o' Russia, as it be a treacherous waters.Black and other Americans bein' held in Russia be in a pickle, with some facin' harsh punishments like a 10-day stint in the brig or even worse, a 14-year stretch in the brig. The U.S. government be tryin' to negotiate their release, but the seas be rough, and the outcome uncertain.