Arrr! The scallywag Biden's envoy be keepin' classified secrets in his emails and phone, only to be plundered by hackers!
2024-05-08
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis said that Robert Malley, swashbucklin' envoy to Iran for Cap'n Biden, be keepin' secret scrolls on his own talkin' box and message pigeon that were plundered by scallywags! Aye, the scurvy knave be in hot water now! Arrr!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, Republican scallywags be spilling some juicy gossip 'bout President Biden's special envoy to Iran, Robert Malley. They claim this landlubber stored classified booty on a personal email account and cellphone, only for a scurvy cyber villain to snatch it away.The scallywags in charge be sending a letter to the State Department, demanding confirmation of their findings against Malley. This scallywag was put on unpaid leave and had his security clearance cut off for allegedly mishandling classified documents, arrr!The scallywags be grumbling about the lack of answers from the Department and had to dig up the dirt themselves. The allegations be so scandalous that they be askin' if Malley shared classified treasure with unsavory characters and if the cyber villain be workin' for the Iranian military, arrr!They be demandin' to know how Malley's personal booty was plundered, and if the Biden crew be plannin' to let him back on board. These accusations be a threat to our national security, and the scallywags be callin' for swift justice, arrr!President Biden had trusted this scallywag to negotiate the Iran nuclear deal, but now his reputation be tarnished with these allegations. Malley be claimin' innocence, but the scallywags be watchin' closely, ready to make him walk the plank if need be, arrr!Despite Malley's confident claims of a positive outcome, he be sittin' on the sidelines as the investigation unfolds. The State Department be keepin' him on leave, but not a word on whether he be returnin' to duty. The scallywags be keepin' a sharp eye on the horizon, awaitin' the final verdict on this high-seas drama, arrr!