Ye scurvy knaves of higher learnin' be warned! The Senate bill be makin' ye pay a pretty penny for encampments! Arrr!
2024-05-09
Avast ye scallywags! Sen. JD Vance be seekin' to punish them landlubber schools what don't be raisin' anchor on them unruly student encampments within seven days. Beware the wrath of the education buccaneers, lest ye be walkin' the plank! Arrr!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, there be news on Fox about a Republican senator proposing a new law that could make universities walk the plank if they don't clear out their encampments, like those set up during anti-Israel protests. Arrr!Sailin' under the flag of Sen. JD Vance, R-Ohio, The Encampments or Endowments Act be aimed at squashing these protests that disrupt classes and graduation ceremonies. The scallywag senator be sayin', "No more garbage dumps on our campuses! Follow the law or prepare to pay a hefty price, ye landlubbers!"As the bill sets sail, over 2,200 protesters have been arrested or detained across 49 college campuses in 26 states. Schools that don't clear the decks within a week would lose their federal booty under the Higher Education Act of 1965, which provides financial aid and support for students.If a school be marked ineligible, they'll have to provide grant aid to their students or face a tax on their endowment's treasure. The ban would last five years, and those schools wouldn't be able to participate in federal aid programs. Shiver me timbers, it be a rough sea for these universities!Republicans be keepin' the pressure on these protests and encampments, critiquing both the universities and the Biden administration for their handling of the situation. While Biden and Secretary of Education Cardona have condemned the antisemitism, they haven't backed the Republican demands for prosecution or deportation.