The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Thee Trump trial be settin' sail once again with Michael Cohen as the 'star witness.' Arrr, what a show!

2024-05-13

Arrr mateys, gather 'round and hear ye tales of the day from the mightiest source of news delivered straight to ye electronic letter box at dawn. Get all the scuttlebutt from the seas in one convenient missive. Aye, 'tis a fine way to start yer day!

In the fifth week of the trial, the NY v. Trump case is set to continue, with the anticipation of Michael Cohen, the 'star witness,' taking the stand. On the other hand, the Trump team fired back at the Biden campaign's Mother's Day video, calling it 'sad' and 'miserable.' Meanwhile, Blinken delivered a strong rebuke to Israel, urging them to 'get out of Gaza.'A fallen hero was identified as an Ohio officer, killed in an ambush, with the suspect still at large. Graduates from the University of California-Berkeley disrupted their commencement with anti-Israel protests. Additionally, a massive Trump beach rally in the deep-blue state of NJ highlighted a stark contrast to Biden's beach weekend.Conservative Senate firebrand claims to be the number one target of Democrats. Democratic infighting continues, with Hillary Clinton facing criticism for 'dismissive' remarks about anti-Israel protesters. Sen. Tom Cotton remarked that if Trump were the president, the Israel-Hamas war would have been over by now.Various other news highlights include a politically incorrect demand from a Florida sheriff, Charlamagne tha God's take on voters' choices, and Bill Maher's critique of tribal politics. Fareed Zakaria expressed doubt that the New York charges against 'Donald Trump' would have been brought against anyone else. Finally, Sen. Joni Ernst stressed the importance of supporting Israel, and Chad Wolf presented an essential way to enforce immigration law.

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