The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump be favorin' certain tricks for many moons. His court saga be showin' 'em off proper-like.

2024-05-18

Arrr, the scallywag president's trial be showin' his true colors: he be carin' more 'bout loyalty, looks, fame, and makin' his mates do his dirty work like a scurvy bunch o' bullies! Aye, a pirate's life be full o' twists and turns!

Ahoy matey! The trial of the scurvy former president has shown us what he truly treasures: loyalty, beauty, press attention, and using his mateys as tough sea dogs to do his dirty work. He be a scallywag who cares only for those who stand by him, even if they be as crooked as a sailor's hook. He be using his swashbuckling charm to woo the press and keep his name in the headlines, no matter what treachery he be committing.
But beware, me hearties, for this captain be a snake in the grass, willing to throw even his most loyal crewmates overboard if it means saving his own hide. He be a master manipulator, using his silver tongue to turn his allies into fearsome bullies who do his bidding without question. He be a scheming pirate, always looking out for his own interests, no matter the cost to his shipmates or his reputation.
So let this be a lesson to all ye landlubbers: beware the smooth-talking corsair who values only loyalty to himself, beauty in all its forms, and the power of the press to keep his name in lights. For he be a scurvy dog who will stop at nothing to get what he wants, even if it means betraying those who once sailed by his side.

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