The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Yarrr! Florida scallywag be a hero, stickin' a dagger in the bilge rat who dared harm his lady.

2024-05-18

Arrr matey, the Sheriff be singin' praises for a brave soul who showed no mercy to a scallywag invader! With a swift stab, he sent the villain to Davy Jones' locker after the scallywag shot his fair maiden in the visage! Aye, justice be served!

In the language of a 17th century pirate, me hearties, the police be singing praises for a brave Florida resident who dispatched a scallywag intruder with a well-placed stab after the lily livered scoundrel shot his wife! Arrr!The law enforcement crew from the Highlands County Sheriff’s Office received a distress call in Avon Park, reporting a violent altercation at a homestead, as recounted by local news outlet Fox 13 Tampa Bay.The villainous Lindsey Glenn, a 62-year-old former prisoner with a checkered past of felonies, used trickery to gain entry into the home of an elderly couple, aged 69, on Joe Hilton Street.With devilish intent, Glenn shot the female victim in the face upon entering, causing severe injury. But the gallant husband, upon witnessing this dastardly act, seized a garden knife and engaged the scurvy dog in a fierce battle, repeatedly skewering him with the 7-inch blade.The courageous wife managed to escape to a neighbor's porch, while the valiant husband received treatment for minor injuries and was released from the local hospital.By the time the authorities arrived, the miscreant Glenn had met his maker, having been "cut to pieces" by the vengeful husband, as confirmed by Sheriff Paul Blackman in a video update on the incident.In conclusion, the sheriff praised the brave husband for his swift and valiant defense of his wife and home, and prayers were offered for the swift recovery of the injured wife. The villain Glenn, a repeat offender, had a lengthy criminal history and the investigation into the incident remains ongoing. Yo ho ho!

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