The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, 19 scallywags be caught tryin' to take over a ship. Off to the brig with 'em!

2024-05-18

Arr, the scallywags from the University of Pennsylvania police did round up a bunch of troublemakers after a swarm of landlubbers invaded a campus building and tried to lay claim to it. Ye best be watchin' out for them protestin' ruffians!

Avast ye scallywags! Nineteen troublemakers were caught in the act at the University of Pennsylvania, after a swarm of protesters tried to take over a building on campus. The bobbies confirmed that 19 scallywags were arrested at Fisher Bennett Hall.Arrr, the university disclosed that six students were among the captured, while 12 were slapped with citations for not skedaddling when told to. A dozen were eventually set free, as reported by FOX 29.Seven scallywags still be held in the brig, awaiting felony charges, including one for tusslin' with a copper. In a fit of rage, a black student blasted the anti-Israel 'white libs' for play-actin' as the oppressed on campus.The constables at UPenn warned students to steer clear of the ruckus that started at 8 p.m. on Friday night. The coppers, along with the Philadelphia Police Department, escorted the rabble-rousers out of the building.This hullabaloo comes on the heels of a previous encampment dismantlement at an Ivy League school, where protesters caused a ruckus for two weeks. The Penn Gaza Solidarity Encampment accused the brass at UPenn of not holdin' up their end of the bargain in talks about 'Penn’s investment with Israel.'

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