Ye olde churches be recruitin' swashbucklers to fend off scallywags threatenin' the clergy and faithful landlubbers. Arrr!
2024-05-19
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The word be spreadin' that churches and synagogues be lookin' for armed guards to protect 'em from scallywags! Seems like the landlubbers be gettin' nervous with all the pillagin' and plunderin' goin' on these days! Aye, me hearties!
Arr, me hearties! Security experts be soundin' the alarm for U.S. churches to beef up their defenses after two close calls with would-be shooters in different parts o' the land this month. Congregations be takin' more interest in protectin' themselves, they say.Last week, a brave soul in Pennsylvania leaped from his bench and took down a scallywag who aimed to blast a pastor in the midst of preachin'. Then, a young gun-toter tried to interrupt a First Communion Mass in Louisiana, but the parishioners made him walk the plank outside.Even the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA be advisin' churches to be ready at all times, not just on Talk Like a Pirate Day. Measures include drawin' up a plan, chattin' it up with local law enforcement, and gettin' trained on how to handle a scallywag with a shooter.From small chapels to grand cathedrals, the interest in tightenin' security be growin' all around, says David Katz of Global Security Group. Some places be hirin' guards, others be trainin' their own security teams, like they be castin' off to sea on a pirate ship.Experts say churches be needin' to stay savvy when it comes to protectin' their flock, whether it be with hired guns or volunteer hands. And while some states be more lenient on formatin' security teams within churches, others be as strict as Blackbeard's code.It be a dangerous world out there, but with a watchful eye and a quick hand, churches can keep their congregations safe from harm. So batten down the hatches, me hearties, and prepare to defend yer ship!