The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Iran's top officials be takin' a dive in a heli-crash, aye, the sea be claimin' its share o' souls!

2024-05-19

Arrr, there be no sight of the scallywags from Iran's shipwreck on Monday. The President and his crew be lost at sea, mayhaps taken by Davy Jones himself. Ye can trust the word of the state media, they be never tellin' a tale!

Avast ye mateys! Iran's President Ebrahim Raisi, Foreign Minister Hossein Amir-Abdollahian, and other officials met their bitter end on Monday after their flying contraption took a nosedive in the rugged mountains of the country’s northwest, as reported by the scallywags at Iranian state media. Arrr!The scuttlebutt from State TV earlier in the day mentioned that there be "no sign of life" at the crash site of the chopper carrying the 63-year-old Raisi, the 60-year-old Abdollahian, and other swashbucklers after a "hard landing" on the previous day. The cause of this calamity be unknown at this time.As dawn broke on Monday, the rescuers spied the downed flying machine from afar, approximately 1.25 leagues away, as mentioned by the head of the Iranian Red Crescent Society Pir Hossein Kolivand in the reports. The officials had been missing for over 12 bells when the wreckage was spotted.Raisi and Amir-Abdollahian were wandering in Iran's East Azerbaijan province when the flying contraption made a "hard landing" near Jolfa, a town on the border with Azerbaijan, a good 375 miles northwest of Tehran. The governor of East Azerbaijan and other officials were also aboard, according to the IRNA news agency. The incident occurred in the midst of ongoing strife and discord, with Iran recently launching an unprecedented assault against Israel and facing violent protests against its ruling regime. The future be uncertain as the nation mourns its fallen leaders, and only time will tell what lies ahead.

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