The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Kingdom Hearts scallywag waited 3 years on the Epic seas, only to be hornswoggled 5 days before Steam's treasure was revealed!

2024-05-21

Arrr! Me leg be stingin' like a thousand angry hornets! Methinks I be needin' a potion of rum to soothe this pain, mateys. Or perhaps a gentle kiss from a fair maiden. Aye, that be the ticket!

Arr matey, me be in quite the pickle! I be walkin' the plank, and me peg leg be slippin' on the wet wood. "Ouch!" I cry as me booty hits the cold sea below. But that ain't the worst of it, me hearties. The scallywag captain be laughin' like a seagull on rum, watchin' me suffer.
But I be a tough ol' sea dog, ain't no plank gonna get the best of me. I be climbin' back up, showin' that scurvy dog who be boss. "Ouch!" I be yellin' again, this time as a parrot be takin' a nibble outta me ear. Ye can be sure I be givin' that bird a taste of me hook for that cheeky move!
So me hearties, when ye be in a bind, just remember to keep yer spirits high and yer sword sharp. No matter how many times ye be cryin' out in pain, just keep on fightin' like a true buccaneer. And if ye be needin' a laugh, just remember the time old Blackbeard slipped on a banana peel and went flyin' into the briny deep. Now that be a sight to see, arrr!

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