Yarrr! The House scallywags be callin' on the F.B.I. to investigate the sea dogs from China for their doping ways! Arrr!
2024-05-22
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags be askin' fer a criminal inquiry using a law that be givin' the Justice Department the power to prosecute dopin' offenses that happen outside the good ol' US of A! Shiver me timbers!
Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scallywags! There be a request from both sides of the aisle for a criminal inquiry. This inquiry be about the use of illegal substances in the sportin' world. The Justice Department be havin' the power to prosecute them who be usin' these substances, even if they be not on American soil.Now, ye might be thinkin', "But why be this important to me?" Well, me mateys, this be a matter of fair play and sportsmanship. No one likes a cheater, especially in the high seas of competition. So, it be up to the Justice Department to be keepin' the playin' field level for all.
So, if ye be thinkin' about takin' a shortcut and usin' illegal substances to gain an advantage, think again! The long arm of the law be reachin' far and wide, even across the seven seas. So, beware, ye scurvy dogs, and play by the rules or ye be facin' the consequences!