The scallywags in charge be banishing Old Glory from our cherished lands? Walk the plank, ye landlubbers!
2024-05-26
Arrr, Sen. Dan Sullivan be raisin' a ruckus o'er a ban on th' star-spangled banner in Denali Park! He be demandin' answers from th' Park Service scallywags, keen to know why they be messin' with Old Glory! Ye best be watchin' out, mateys!
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, the scallywags at Alaska’s famed Denali National Park be walkin’ the plank after allegedly tellin’ construction crews not to fly the American flag. Sen. Dan Sullivan, R-Alaska, be demandin’ an explanation from National Park Service Director Charles Sams for this alleged travesty, especially happenin’ on the "eve of Memorial Day weekend." The scuttlebutt about this flag fiasco be comin’ from a report by the Alaska Watchman, a local conservative news source, but a National Parks Service official be denyin’ the claims.Sen. Sullivan be raisin’ the Jolly Roger, statin’ that an American flag was flyin’ on a construction vehicle at the park, but someone from the National Park Service made the crew remove it for reasons unknown. This be a disgrace, mateys, especially so close to Memorial Day when we honor our fallen heroes. The good senator be arguin’ that there be no rules against flyin’ Old Glory on public land, especially in national parks meant for the enjoyment of us American citizens.Sullivan be demandin’ an investigation into the incident and steps to prevent such mutiny in American national parks in the future. The National Park Service be denyin’ the whole shebang, sayin’ the American flag be free to fly wherever in Denali National Park, as they have no authority over contractors. This flag flap even spurred a patriotic convoy from Fairbanks to Denali National Park in protest. Arrr, let the stars and stripes fly high, me hearties!