"Arrr mateys, gather 'round for the final battle in Trump's trial and other grand tales of the high seas!"
2024-05-28
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In the language of a 17th-century pirate, the Judge be dodging key decisions as the grand finale be set for teams to present their closing arguments, arrr! Far-left Dem reps be mixin' up Memorial Day with another holiday, confused they be! A former Quantico staffer be warnin' of a terror attack after illegal immigrants tried to breach the base, aye. Blue state be allegedly targetin' a Christian ministry group for its faith, a punch in the gut it be! Kathie Lee Gifford and Howard Stern's 30-year feud be endin' by divine intervention, by the grace of God!A territorial 'tug of war' be ragin' inside the US, will a new red state emerge from it? Indiana Republican be lookin' to flip a House seat, accusin' the Dem challenger of abandonin' constituents and joinin' the DC political machine, aye. Kevin McCarthy's ghost be hauntin' the next big Republican House fight, shiver me timbers! Justice Thomas be breakin' from conservatives to keep CFPB 'Elizabeth Warren's baby' funded, aye matey! China's threats and 'naked aggression' be loomin' large as House lawmakers meet Taiwan's new president, aye!