"A scallywag from foreign lands be shooting at the constables in Queens, say the authorities. Avast ye, he be caught!"
2024-06-03
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis be reported that Bernardo Raul Castro Matta, a young landlubber from Venezuela, be accused of firing his pistol at two brave NYPD officers in Queens this morn. Arrr, aye, 'tis a treacherous tale indeed!
Avast ye scallywags! Two brave New York City officers were shot in the line of duty while chasing down a scurvy dog of a suspect, who be an illegal immigrant from Venezuela, all because of a string of robberies involving rascals on scooters. Arrr!The skirmish took place just afore the break of day at the crossroads of 89th Street and 23rd Avenue in the Elmhurst port of Queens. The officers, part of the 115th Precinct’s crew, tried to hail the scallywag on a scooter going the wrong way, but he took to his peg leg and ran. In the chase, the scoundrel fired shots at the officers, who shot back like true buccaneers.One officer took a shot to his midsection, shielded by his trusty vest, while the other took a shot to the leg. Both men were taken to the ship's doctor and be in stable condition, likely to mend in time."Avast ye landlubbers! This be the danger we face daily," cried Mayor Eric Adams, waving about the torn vest of one wounded officer. He called the attack a "senseless act" and a "blasphemy against life."The miscreant, known as Bernardo Raul Castro Matta, a lad of 19 from Venezuela, be sneaking into the land through Eagle Pass, Texas. The brigand be residing in a migrant shelter in Queens and be suspected of multiple offenses in the borough.Watch out for these brigands on their scooters, as crime rates be on the rise with these wheeled thieves. In the first half of 2024 alone, there be over 80 incidents involving these rapscallions. Be wary, me hearties!
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