"Arrr, a shot or a splinter tickled Trump’s ear, claims the landlubber F.B.I.! Blimey, what a ruckus!"
2024-07-26
Arrr! The tale spun by the bureau's captain be the clearest yet! Earlier, he fancied the old president took a hit from cannonball scraps, causin' a ruckus fit to shatter the seven seas! Aye, a right merry squall it be!
Arrr matey, gather 'round and lend yer ears to a tale most curious! The esteemed director of the Bureau, that scallywag, he didst make a proclamation that sent ripples ‘cross the seas of politics! It be said that the former president, who once sailed the high seas of power, might’ve been struck down by a wayward piece of shrapnel, as if the very cannons of fate were fired upon him!This wild claim sparked a tempest amongst the landlubbers in the political arena, with tongues waggin' faster than a ship in full sail! Why, ye could see the squabblin’ politicians throwin’ accusations like cannonballs, seekin’ to defend their honor and reputation! They be like a crew of buccaneers fightin’ over a treasure map, each lookin’ to claim the glory for themselves!
But nay, the latest explanation from the captain of the Bureau's ship be the most definitive yet! It be a tale of intrigue and mischief, of shrapnel and scandal, fit for the pages of a jolly roger! So hoist the sails and prepare for more shenanigans, for the seas of politics be ever tumultuous, and this be but the tip of the iceberg, me hearties!