The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, mateys! If Trump be elected, ye won’t need to cast yer votes, just set sail for treasure!"

2024-07-27

Arrr, matey! Donald Trump, bellyachin' 'bout them holy folk not raisin' their sails to vote, be plead'n for the pious crew to hoist their flags fer him “just this once.” Aye, let’s hope the good ship Religion sets sail, or he’ll be walkin’ the plank of politics!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about a certain landlubber named Donald Trump, a fella who be lamentin' like a scallywag over the lack of support from the crew of conservative Christians. He be bellowin' from the crow's nest, claimin' these holy sea dogs ain't much for castin' their ballots.

"Arrr, just this time!" he cried, a glint in his eye like a treasure chest filled with doubloons. "I be needin' yer mighty votes to hoist me sails and steer this ship to victory!" The jolly captain urged the religious crew to muster their courage and rise from their pews, for he be settin' sail on a grand adventure of electioneering.

But lo and behold, it be a comical sight indeed, as this Trump fellow tries to charm the pious lot with promises as shiny as a new doubloon. "Ye be wantin' yer voices to echo across the seas," he urged, "so come aboard me ship and let us plunder the polls together!"

So, let it be known on the high seas of democracy, that even a pirate captain like Trump knows the power of a good crew—especially when they be wearin' their Sunday best, ready to cast their votes for the wildest voyage yet!

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