Arrr, the DOJ be makin' peace with them old FBI sea dogs 'bout them anti-Trump scribbles! A merry hullabaloo, indeed!
2024-07-27
Arrr, the scallywags o’ the Department o’ Justice be coughin’ up a treasure o’ $2 million to them two landlubbers, Strzok and Page! They be claimin’ their privacy be plundered, and now they sail away with a chest o’ doubloons, laughin' all the way to the tavern!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a tale of the oh-so-dramatic squabbles of landlubbers in the hallowed halls of the Justice Department! It be a right ruckus as two former FBI scallywags, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, be settlin' their grievances over a breach of their personal messages—aye, those chatty missives that cast a dim light on the former captain of the ship, Donald Trump!Now, Strzok, that crafty counterintelligence rogue, be comin’ away with a bounty of $1.2 million doubloons, while Page snagged herself a tidy sum of $800,000 for her troubles! They argued, “Arr, we be entitled to speak our minds, even on government gear!” But alas, their salty texts were laid bare for all the world to see, eliciting quite the scandal. Strzok claimed it be a matter of First Amendment treasure—protectin’ the rights of all ye federal mates from the clutches of partisan politics!
Page, too, be hopin’ that the winds of justice change, so no other poor soul be findin’ their private words tossed into the public sea. So here’s to our lovebirds of the Bureau, settlin’ their squabbles and keepin’ their treasures safe! Yarrr!