Arrr matey! Pennsylvania's swabbin' squad be sayin' they ne'er parleyed with the Secret Service 'fore the Trump shootin' shenanigans!
2024-07-28
Arrr, matey! A salty swab from the SWAT crew at the former captain Trump's July shindig be bellowin’ that there be "nary a word" exchanged 'twixt their band and the Secret Service scallywags! A right jolly mess, I say! Avast, who be steering this ship?
Ahoy mateys, gather ‘round fer a tale of woe and miscommunication at the rally of the great Captain Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania! A brave officer of the local tactical crew, sharpshooter Jason Woods, be spillin’ the beans that his band o’ SWAT scallywags never laid eyes on the U.S. Secret Service before calamity struck!“Aye, we were promised a face-to-face meetin’,” Woods bellowed, “but that never came!” Without proper chatter, it seems the crew missed the crucial signs that would lead to a rather unsavory day – a scallywag named Thomas Crooks decided to take a shot at the captain, leadin’ to chaos and the demise of poor Corey Compartore!
The captain’s advisors thought the shots were mere fireworks; how they be mistaken! The lack of communication was like sailin’ without a compass. Now, the head of the Secret Service has walked the plank, resignin’, and the seas be churning with investigations. Woods lamented, “By the time we got word, it was too late!”
Indeed, even a sniper's keen eye spotted Crooks, but alas, the warning was lost in the wind! The crew of Trump be wonderin’ why they weren’t alerted, and the good chief detective claims they did all they could. So raise a tankard to lessons learned, me hearties, and may the winds be kinder in the future! Arrr!