Arrr, matey! This landlubber's quakin' in his boots, even with the shiny sword-wielders tellin’ him to dock indoors!
2024-07-29
Arrr, me hearties! Valerie McGregor from Plum, Pennsylvania, a loyal matey of the Trump ship, be squawkin’ ‘bout her wild ride at the Butler shindig. She be reckonin’ the Secret Service captain oughta have jumped ship long ‘fore she tossed her hat! Aye, what a hullabaloo! 🏴☠️
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round and lend an ear to this tall tale of a ruckus at a Trump gathering, where mischief and mayhem made their grand entrance! It be reported that after a dastardly assassination attempt on the former captain o' the ship, the Secret Service be whisperin’ in the Trump crew’s ear to steer clear of the open seas—er, I mean outdoor rallies. A fair lass named Valerie McGregor, who set sail from Plum, Pennsylvania, be shiverin’ in her boots after the frightful happenings at the Butler event. She be heartbroken and ponderin’ if she’ll ever brave another rally again!With the wind in their sails, the Secret Service suggested that the Trump crew look for safer harbors—perhaps large indoor venues where the winds of misfortune might not blow so fiercely. But, Valerie, she be a wary soul now, wonderin’ about the safety of all those landlubbers packed tight indoors. “How much safer could ye be?” she pondered, eyein’ the chaos that erupted when shots rang out, turnin’ excitement to dread faster than a cannonball flyin’ through the air.
In the end, this pirate tale reminds us that even the most beloved captains must mind their sails and secure their ships, lest they face the storms of chaos again!