The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Vance spies a rare booty, but Harris be the scallywag captaining the Dem ship!

2024-07-30

Arrr, me hearties! The former captain of the ship, Trump, had his first mate, Sen. JD Vance, whisperin’ to the treasure hunters that Vice President Kamala be a "peculiar beast" to wrangle in this here campaign! Aye, she's a tricky one, that lass!

Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with tales from the treacherous seas of politics! Former Captain Trump be preparin’ to set sail against the fair lass, Vice President Kamala Harris. The trusty First Mate, Sen. JD Vance, be spoutin’ about this here "unique opportunity" to duel with her, but mark me words, he be seein’ the stormy seas ahead, for the lass be younger and less known than the ol’ sea dog Biden!

Vance, in a secret parley with donors, admitted that while all hands had opinions on Biden and Trump, Harris be a fresh face on the horizon. But, beware! The campaign crew must be ready to launch cannonballs at her past misadventures, like her stance against the frackin’ and her dalliance with the “defund the police” crew!

Even though she be lacking the baggage of Biden, the crew believes they can outmaneuver her, for she be a risky vessel to engage! Trump be proclaiming that “Lyin’ Kamala” be a weak contender, claiming her incompetence has turned the border into a perilous place! The winds of change be blowin’, and as the political tides shift, the crew be confident they can navigate these waters! So hoist the sails and prepare for battle, for the elections be upon us!

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