The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Acting Captain o’ the Secret Service be red-faced that the crow's nest at Trump’s shindig was left unguarded!

2024-07-30

Arrr, matey! Ronald Rowe Jr. be sayin’ that the Secret Service and them landlubber law keepers couldn’t get their squawkin’ straight, lettin’ a ruckus fly at the former Captain of the Ship of State, Donald Trump, on the thirteenth day of July! What a fine mess o’ scallywags!

Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for I’ve a tale of miscommunication that’d make a landlubber chuckle! Ronald Rowe Jr., a fine fellow of wit, be spillin’ the beans on a right peculiar incident that went down on the high seas of politics, ‘twas the 13th of July, aye. The former captain of the ship known as the presidency, one Donald Trump, found himself in a spot of bother when the cannons boomed, and shots rang out!

Now, ye see, the Secret Service, those scallywags sworn to protect, were caught in a tangled mess of poor communication with the local law enforcers. It seems they be speakin' in riddles and codes instead of plain ol’ pirate tongue! Aye, no one be knowin’ who was to man the lookout or fire the cannon when the shots echoed through the air. It’s a wonder they didn’t just send a parrot with a message instead!

So, as the bullets whizzed by like wayward cannonballs, Trump’s protectors were busy sendin' smoke signals or perhaps just scratchin’ their heads, wonderin’ who be in charge. In the end, it was a comedy of errors on land, and our swashbucklin’ ex-captain was left to weather the storm amidst a plunderin’ of confusion. Arrr, what a ruckus!

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