The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Dodgers be snatchin’ Jack Flaherty at the last tick o' the clock! A true treasure, matey!

2024-07-30

Arrr! The Los Angeles Dodgers be plunderin’ the Detroit Tigers for a right-handed cannon named Jack Flaherty, just in time fer the trade deadline shenanigans! A right grand hullabaloo, I say! May the winds be at their backs as they sail to victory! Har har!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of the Los Angeles Dodgers, savvy sea dogs of the baseball waters, who be snatchin’ opportunities like a hungry parrot with a cracker! Just as the clock struck the hour of the trade deadline, they be makin’ a bold move, claimin’ the right-handed cannon fire known as Jack Flaherty from the shipwrecked Detroit Tigers.

This scallywag Flaherty, once a fearsome beast on the mound, had been languishin’ with a 4.42 ERA like a fish outta water for the past few seasons. But lo and behold! In the treacherous waters of Detroit, he found his sea legs once more, sportin’ a flashier 2.95 ERA and makin’ batters walk the plank with an eye-poppin’ 11.2 strikeouts per nine innings!

The Dodgers, already buoyant at 63-44, be addin’ to their treasure chest with other prized fish like infielders Tommy Edman, Amed Rosario, and the Gold Glove marvel Kevin Kiermaier. With the mighty Clayton Kershaw returnin’ from the briny deep of injury, they be eyein’ that World Series booty once more. So hoist the sails, me mateys, for the Dodgers be the favorites on the high seas of baseball! Yo ho ho!

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