The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Haniyeh’s gone to Davy Jones, and the landlubbers be squawkin’ like parakeets ‘bout it!

2024-07-31

Arrr, matey! A heap o' foreign swabs be squawkin' 'bout the foul deed done to that scallywag Ismail Haniyeh! They be claimin' it’ll stir the pot o' trouble even more! A right ruckus it be, I say! Keep yer cutlasses sharp, fer a storm be brewin' on the horizon!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of treachery on the high seas o' geopolitics! It be reported that Ismail Haniyeh, the scallywag leader o' Hamas, met his doom in Iran, and the whole world be up in arms, claimin’ it a "heinous crime." Aye, they say it’ll stir the cauldron o' tensions, like a tempest brewin' on the horizon!

Nobody be takin' credit, but whispers be pointin' to Israel, who promised to send Haniyeh to Davy Jones’ locker after a ruckus on Oct. 7. Iranian supremo, Ali Khamenei, be spoutin’ about avengin’ Haniyeh’s blood, claimin' it a duty to the nation! The winds o' vengeance be blowin' fierce, with Iran's President swearin’ revenge on those "cowardly" marauders.

Even Haniyeh's kin, the lad Abdul Salam, be sayin' his father longed for such a martyr’s fate. And as the seas churn, Hamas be vowin’ the assassination won’t break their spirit, claimin' it a mere pebble in their ship’s hull!

Countries like Turkey and Qatar be raisin' their voices, condemn’n the act as an affront to peace. Meanwhile, ol’ U.S. Defense Secretary Austin be tryin’ to calm the storm, but promises to back Israel if trouble brews. So buckle yer swash and keep a weather eye open, for the tides o' conflict be risin'! Yarrr!

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