The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The landlubbers say the Yanks be stayin' ashore ‘n not layin’ cannon on that Hamas scallywag!

2024-07-31

Arrr, matey! A scallywag from the U.S. Navy be claimin’ that they had nothin' to do with the takin' down of the Hamas captain, Ismail Haniyeh, who met his end in the treacherous waters o' Iran. Blimey! 'Tis no American cannon fire in that fray!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of high seas intrigue and treachery! Word from the U.S. ship of state claims they had no hand in the foul deed that sent Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh to Davy Jones' locker. The scallywag met his end in an airstrike after a jolly jaunt in Tehran, leaving many a sailor scratchin' their heads if Uncle Sam knew of the plan beforehand.

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, a fine captain in his own right, shrugged like a ship in a tempest when asked if Israel be the culprit or if they had spies afoot. With tensions rising like a ship's sails in a gale, the U.S. vowed to support Israel if they be attacked whilst seeking to calm the stormy seas.

Haniyeh's demise brought cheers from some quarters, with Israel’s Heritage Minister proclaiming the world just got a tad brighter. Yet, the Iranian Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, swore revenge, claiming Haniyeh was a brave soul ready to meet the reaper. As swords clash and ships sail into the fray, one can only wonder what mischief lay ahead upon these treacherous waters! Arrr!

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