Arrr! The grand Ayatollah be callin' fer a jolly ol' raid on Israel, savvy? Avast, me hearties!
2024-07-31
Avast, me hearties! The grand poobah o' Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei, be shoutin' for cannon fire upon Israel, all 'cause that scallywag Haniyeh met his maker in Tehran! Aye, what a ruckus! The New York Times be spillin' the beans on this salty tale! Arrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer the high seas of political scallywags be a-churnin'! Word be spreadin' that the grand poobah of Iran, Ayatollah Khamenei, has summoned his ruffians to launch a direct cannonade upon the good ship Israel! Aye, this news be comin’ straight from the New York Times, as three of Khamenei’s trusty crew confirmed this foul tidin'!Just hours prior, word had it that the notorious captain of Hamas, Ismail Haniyeh, met his most unfortunate fate in Tehran. Blame be layin' thick on the Israeli Defense Forces, who be accused of givin’ him a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker!
The White House be scratchin’ its noggin, unable to verify if Haniyeh's demise be true. Meanwhile, Khamenei be spoutin' fiery words on the X account, callin’ for retribution against the “criminal, terrorist Zionist regime.” Aye, tensions be risin' faster than a ship's sails in a storm!
Israel's top sea dog, Maj. Gen. Tomer Bar, be makin’ ominous threats, claimin’ there be no place too far for their ships to strike. Netanyahu, the captain of Israel, be declarin' this an "existential war" against Iran’s "axis of evil.” So buckle yer swashes; this be a tale of treachery and tumult upon the turbulent seas of politics!