"Arrr! Scallywag named in Southport's bloody fracas, taking three wee mates to Davy Jones' locker!"
2024-08-01
Arrr, matey! The scallywag blamed fer the bloodshed in Southport, where three wee lads met Davy Jones, was pointed out in court on Thursday, thanks to the captain o' the court givin' the word! A right ruckus, I tell ye!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale most grim from the shores of the United Kingdom, where a scallywag named Axel Rudakubana, just shy of bein' a man at 18, has been named as the villain responsible fer a dastardly deed at a jolly Taylor Swift dance fest. Aye, it be a horrid thing when young'uns be caught up in such shenanigans, three wee lasses lost their lives at the hands of this rapscallion!Judge Andrew Menary, a wise sea captain of the court, decided to let the world know Rudakubana's name, sayin' it was best to avoid the storm of misinformation that be blowin' about. He be turnin' 18 in but a handful o' days, and in these turbulent waters, British law usually keeps the names of young rogues under wraps, savvy?
As the tale unfolds, this knave waltzed into a dance hall armed with naught but a blade, causin' chaos as he struck like a pirate in a tavern brawl. The brave adults tried to shield the wee ones, but alas, 'twas a dark day indeed. With the town of Southport eruptin' in riots and a police van ablaze, it seems this affair be far from over. So hoist the sails and keep a weather eye on this stormy saga, mateys!