The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, matey! Freed lads Gershkovich and Whelan might be haunted by a ghostly mind storm, claim the landlubber healers!

2024-08-03

Avast, me hearties! The brave scribe Evan Gershkovich and the valiant Paul Whelan have returned to the fair shores of America! But beware, for their noggins may still be tangled like a sailor's knot from the dark depths of their imprisonment! Arrr, 'tis a right jolly challenge!

Arrr matey, gather 'round fer a tale of triumph and tribulation! On the fateful Thursday, three brave souls, captured by the land of vodka and bears, found their way back to the good ol' U.S. of A. Evan Gershkovich, a reporter of Wall Street fame, Paul Whelan, an American veteran, and the fair Alsu Kurmasheva were set free in a grand ol' prisoner swap, like a treasure hunt gone awry!

Their ship, nay, their plane, landed at Joint Base Andrews, where they were met by none other than Captain Joe Biden and his trusty first mate, Kamala Harris. But, arrr, there be troubles ahead! Experts say these scallywags be facing health challenges, both of mind and body, after their harrowing adventures in captivity.

Yarr, it seems the horrors of confinement can haunt a pirate's mind, leading to nightmares and woes that linger long after the chains be off! Flashbacks and fears may plague their dreams like specters from the deep. Those medical wizards suggest a long voyage of healing awaits, filled with rest and the support of family and friends. So, let us toast to their safe return, but beware the storms of the mind that may still lay ahead!

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