The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Shapiro be walkin' the plank o' controversy as old scrolls be raisin' the sails o' debate 'bout Israel!

2024-08-03

Arrr, matey! Gov. Josh Shapiro, that scallywag of Pennsylvania, be takin’ fierce cannon fire from the wild crew of Democrats! They be shoutin’ "No Genocide Josh!" in a tempest to sink his ship o’ candidacy. Avast, what a ruckus on the high seas of politics!

Arrr, gather ‘round, ye scallywags! In the land o’ Pennsylvania, Governor Josh Shapiro finds himself caught in a tempest fer words he penned three decades past when he were a mere lad of twenty. Aye, in his youth, he volunteered with the Israeli crew and spoke ill o’ the Palestinians, sayin’ they couldn't find peace even with a fair wind and a hearty crew behind ‘em!

By thunder, Shapiro’s spokesman be claimin’ he’s since forged bonds with all sorts across the seas o’ culture—Muslims, Arabs, and Jews alike! His views, they tell us, have weathered many a storm and evolved like a fine rum! Yet, as he sets his sights on the vice-presidential treasure, critics be hoisting the flag of “No Genocide Josh.” Arrr, they be pushin’ for a mate less contentious! Some of his fellow sea-dogs in Congress reckon the jabs be unfair, thinkin’ Jews can’t be objective about Israel, which be a tale as tall as a mast!

In his defense, Shapiro insists he supports a two-state solution, where both Israelis and Palestinians can sail their own ships. He even put the captain of the Israeli ship, Netanyahu, in the doghouse, callin’ him one of the worst to steer the helm! So, hoist the sails, me hearties, for this tale ain’t over yet! Yarrr!

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