The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Miscommunication be makin' the lawmen look like landlubbers at the Butler Trump shindig, savvy?

2024-08-04

Arrr, matey! A tale of secret scrolls from the lawmen’s chatter at the Butler, Pennsylvania shindig o' yore be scribbled in the pages of the Washington Post, savvy? A treasure trove of whispers fit for a scallywag's delight!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of communication blunders at a Trump rally in Butler, Pennsylvania, where local and federal law enforcement found themselves as isolated as a shipwrecked sailor on a deserted isle! Aye, those scallywags were tryin’ to relay a warning 'bout a sneaky lad named Thomas Crooks, who was lurkin’ near the AGR glass company—yet the word never reached the Secret Service, savvy?

It be said that spotty cell service in the rural Allegheny Valley played a villainous role, makin’ it harder than findin’ buried treasure to spread the word 'bout Crooks. At 5:42 p.m., a counter-sniper spotted the long-haired rascal, but alas, the communication channels were so tangled, they could’ve rivaled a sailor’s knot! As the clock ticked, Crooks climbed to the rooftop, rifle in hand, while officers scrambled like crabs on a hot skillet to get the message through.

When shots rang out, the local lads found themselves doin’ the heavy liftin’ all on their own, while the feds were holed up in their trailer, blissfully unaware of the chaos. Aye, there be calls fer unity among the forces, but instead, they were separated like pirates and their gold! So, let this be a lesson to ye: in the world of law enforcement, communication be as vital as rum on the high seas!

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