The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! A gym be lettin' a scallywag in the lasses' quarters, now the law be sniffin' 'round like a hungry shark!

2024-08-04

Arrr, me hearties! A gym in St. Louis be under the watchful eye of the law for lettin’ all sorts aboard, including the fine folk who sail the trans seas! The state’s bigwig be sniffin’ around like a hungry sea dog! Aye, what a ruckus on the high seas of fitness!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round for a tale from the fair lands of Missouri, where a fitness fortress known as Life Time be stirrin' up a storm! The Attorney General, Andrew Bailey, has set his sights on this establishment, claimin' they’ve taken to lettin’ the fairer locker rooms be invaded by biological males, or as he calls 'em, "transgender women." Aye, he be hollerin' that such shenanigans be endangering the good women and lassies of the land!

With a mighty quill in hand, Bailey penned a missive to the captain of Life Time, warnin' that the so-called "fashionable" policies of distant corporate boardrooms won’t sail in his jurisdiction. He be raisin' the alarm over a 52-year-old sea wench who dared to enter the ladies' quarters, causin' quite the ruckus amongst the crew of gym-goers.

But hold yer horses! Instead of heedin’ the safety concerns, the gym’s crew corrected the patrons on how to address this windfall of controversy. Bailey, fired up with the fury of a stormy sea, declared that he’d be investigatin’ this locker room squall for criminal mischief, suggestin' that such actions be trespassin' on the rights of the fair maidens!

With laws as his compass, he warned that if Life Time continues on this path, they may find themselves navigating treacherous waters filled with legal storms! So, heed this tale, ye landlubbers, for there be no rest for the wicked when it comes to the business of locker rooms and public decency!

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