Arrr, matey! Taxpayers be hoardin’ gold as them scallywags’ COVID booty be sinkin’ to Davy Jones’ locker!
2024-08-05
Arrr, matey! The swabs at ICE be tossin' overboard a fine scheme that let landlubbers make free video chats! Aye, ‘tis been sailin' since the cursed COVID storm hit! Now they be cuttin' the ropes, leavin' ‘em to holler at the waves!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of woe from the landlubber shores of bureaucracy! The scallywags at Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) have tossed overboard a jolly good program that once bestowed upon illegal immigrants 520 free minutes o' chat with their mates—both near and far—thanks to the ruckus caused by that pesky COVID beastie!Back in the merry days of May 2020, when the world was a'quaking with sickness, they thought it wise to give these swabs a way to keep in touch, costing the good folks over $10 million a year! But alas, the public health emergency sailed away in May 2023, yet the phone privilege continued like a drunken sailor on a bender.
Now, ICE be sayin’ they need to scrimp and save, since the southern border be lookin' like a leaky ship! Fear not, for the detainees can still use the Wi-Fi like a true pirate on the high seas, but they'll be payin’ their own way if they fancy a chat! Meanwhile, the landlocked lawmakers be bickerin’ like old sea dogs over funding to tackle the border crisis, while some COVID rules still cling on like barnacles to a ship’s hull.
So, hoist the sails, me mateys, for this tale of free chats gone awry be a reminder that even pirates must mind the purse strings! Arrr!