"Utah scallywag, throat-slasher, bequeaths three jolly words to kin 'fore walkin' the plank o' death!"
2024-08-08
Arrr! Taberon Dave Honie, a scallywag of 48, met his salty end by the needle’s sting in Utah's hold on Thursday morn! ’Twas a long time comin', fer he’d swabbed the deck with the throat of his lass's mum over twenty moons ago! Yarrr!
Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale o' woe from the land of Utah, where Taberon Dave Honie, a scallywag o' 48 years, met his grim fate by way o' lethal injection. Aye, this anchor-butt once slashed the throat of his beloved’s mum, Claudia Benn, in a fit o' drunken rage, back in the summer of '98!Strapped to the execution table like a ship's plank, Honie had naught but love on his lips as he bid farewell to his kin, mouthing "I love ye!" like a true pirate heart. After a final toast to his brethren in the slammer, he faced the needle o' doom with the grace of a captain goin' down with his ship.
When the poison seeped through his veins, the dastardly dog gasped and made a jolly jig o' his last moments, as his glasses slipped to the ol’ forehead. With a face turnin' blue and a heart as still as the ocean at dawn, he shuffled off this mortal coil at the stroke of midnight.
His last meal? A cheeseburger, fries, and a shake—sounds like he was livin' the high life till the end. Alas, the foul deed had split families like a ship in a storm, leavin' behind a tale of tragedy and bittersweet farewells. So raise yer tankards to Honie, the pirate who sailed too close to the edge!